Bagel Slicing 101
by LemonPOPtart
Summary: Charlie makes breakfast with disastrous results. A Charlie&Jordan fic


**A/N: **Since Charlie Eppes is my very favorite character on 'Numb3rs', I thought it would be fun to give him a girl who loves him. If you don't like pairings or 'ships, just skip this one. To those of you who do, I hope you enjoy. :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Numb3rs_, I'm just borrowing the characters. I promise to put them back... even Charlie:) Jordan and Riley are both mine, and are purely fictional.

To those of you who are reading my Charlie-Jordan FIC's, this story fits right in during, "Acceptance With Love".

Many Thanks to my beta editor, the Awwesomme Antoinette! You ROCK!!

Many thanks to elysium1996 for all your help:)

* * *

Charlie Eppes woke up slowly. He rolled over to face the empty place next to him. Jordan must have gotten up with the baby.

Charlie arose, yawning, and stretching, and headed towards the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, he was showered and dressed. He could smell fresh coffee as he headed downstairs.

Alan Eppes was sitting at the table, with his glasses perched at the end of his nose, reading the morning paper. "Good morning," Alan greeted his son.

"Morning Dad. Where's Jordan?"

"In the den with Riley. They fell asleep again." Alan smiled at him.

Charlie walked into the den. Jordan was curled up in the big arm chair, with two-month-old Riley asleep on her chest. Charlie smiled down at them. "Hey," he whispered.

Jordan opened her eyes, and looked up at him. "Hey. Is it morning already?"

Charlie chuckled softly. "Yeah." He reached down. "Here, let me take her."

"You wake her, you're in big trouble."

He kissed her forehead. "I know."

Charlie gently lifted his little girl, cradling her in his arms. "Be right back," he mouthed.

Jordan was still curled up in the arm chair when Charlie returned.

"I didn't wake her." He grinned.

"Thank goodness." Jordan yawned. "I am so tired."

"Would you like some coffee? I'll make you a cup."

"What I'd 'really' like, is to sleep for a week." She smiled at him. "But I'll settle for coffee. Thanks."

Charlie poured two cups of coffee, added sugar and half-and-half, and carried the two cups into the den. "Here you are."

Jordan gratefully accepted the steaming cup. "Thank you." She wrapped her hands around the cup and sipped.

"I was thinking, if you want, why don't you let me get up with the baby tonight, and you can sleep? We might as well try a bottle.. no reason she can't use both."

She looked at him with surprise. "Really?"

"Sure!" he smiled. "Why not?" He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt.

Jordan smiled at him, as she set her cup down and held her arms up towards him. He grinned at her, and bent down to get his hug. Jordan wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "You are just so sweet." she said in his ear, then kissed him again.

Charlie straightened back up, and handed her back her cup. "Yeah, I know," he grinned.

She eyed him. "Brat."

Charlie laughed. "That's me."

Alan poked his head in. "Hey, I'm heading over to the bank, and then I'm meeting Sam for breakfast. I'll see you two later."

"Okay. See ya Dad." Charlie told him, and looked back at Jordan. "How about I make you and me some breakfast?"

She smiled. "Really? That sounds great. Thanks."

"Well, you 'were' up all night. It's the least I can do." He smiled. "What would you like?"

Jordan grinned wickedly. "Pancakes."

Charlie shook his head at her, and grinned. "Oh, very funny! You know I don't like pancakes."

"I know. I just couldn't resist. Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Make whatever you want. I don't care. I'll eat whatever you make." She yawned. "I'm not picky. But no eggs. Yuck."

"Okay, Picky" Charlie grinned, and headed into the kitchen.

Charlie stared into the refrigerator. Nothing appealed to him. He closed the refrigerator door, and that was when he noticed the new package of bagels sitting on the counter. They were the marbled ones. His favorite.

"Bagels, it is," Charlie said to himself, and got out the cream cheese.

He looked in the drawer, and the first knife he picked up was the long serrated one. He sliced the first bagel in half, and popped it into the toaster. He started slicing the second bagel, when the knife slipped.

Jordan was just getting up to take her empty cup into the kitchen, when she heard the clatter of something hitting the kitchen floor, followed by Charlie swearing.

She hurried into the kitchen, and found Charlie with his eyes squeezed shut, and clutching his hand, as blood trickled down his hand and arm. Jordan saw the long, serrated knife laying in the floor.

"Oh my God! Charlie, what did you do?" she reached for his hand, but he pulled away.

"Don't." Charlie hissed, his eyes huge. He was squeezing his left index finger in his right hand.

Jordan grabbed a clean dish towel from the drawer. "Let me see."

Charlie held his hand protectively. "No. Don't touch it!"

"Dammit, Charlie! Let me see!"

Charlie begrudgingly allowed Jordan to look. It was a jagged, nasty cut, about a half inch long, along the side of his finger. It looked deep. Jordan frowned. "Honey, I think you might need a few stitches."

Charlie shook his head vehemently. "No."

"Okay." Jordan sighed, and steered him over to a chair. "Sit down." She wrapped the dish towel around his hand, and went to get the first aid kit.

Jordan was back with the first aid kit in record time, and doctored Charlie's finger, using butterfly closures and then wrapping gauze around it. It amazed her how much blood there was. "There you go. All finished," she told him.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Jordan took the dish towel over to the sink, and started washing it out. She wrung it out, then walked back over to Charlie. She reached for his injured hand, and he allowed her to very gently clean the remaining blood from his hand and arm.

"At least it wasn't my right hand," Charlie gave her a little smile.

Jordan couldn't help but snicker. "True."

Charlie and Jordan suddenly heard the baby wail. "I'm being paged." Jordan smiled wearily. "I'll be back." She walked out of the kitchen.

Charlie laid his head down on the table. He felt nauseated, and his finger throbbed.

Jordan changed and fed the baby, located the extra bassinet they kept downstairs, and dragged it behind her into the dining room. She laid the baby down.

Charlie sat at the table, grading papers, with his injured hand in his lap.

"Charlie, did you eat anything?" Jordan asked as she walked over to him.

"No. I rather lost my appetite."

She nodded. "Understandable. Let me make you something, okay? You need to eat." She reached over, and started playing with the curls on the back of his neck. He turned, and gave her one of the crooked grins she loved.

"No bagel," he smiled.

She grinned. "Okay, fine. No bagel. Something safe. Like cereal," she winked.

She watched him a moment. "How's your finger?"

"Hurts." he frowned.

Jordan silently considered nerve damage. "Can you feel your finger tip?" She watched him.

Charlie cautiously touched his finger tip. "Yeah."

"Good. I'll get you some pain reliever too." She kissed the top of his head and walked into the kitchen.

**_3 days later..._**

Jordan had enlisted Alan to babysit for an hour, and now she pushed her shopping buggy around the grocery store. Charlie looked at the shelves, making suggestions.

"I thought women hated their husbands to tag along at the store," he said, picking up a jar of peanut butter.

"Maybe most women," she grinned, "but having my very own mathematician is quite nice to have around, when I'm trying to stay on budget." She winked at him.

Charlie rolled his eyes and grinned. "I hope that's not my only use."

"Nah. I can think of a few other nice things." She grinned wickedly. She reached over and plucked the peanut butter from his hand, and instead, picked up a jar of reduced fat peanut butter.

"Reduced fat," she told him.

Charlie frowned. "Ehhh... it's not as good."

"I know. But it's better for us. Healthier."

"I'll just use more of it," Charlie muttered to himself.

"I heard that." Jordan eyed him.

"Good." Charlie grinned at her, as he switched out the peanut butter jars.

"Brat." She grinned.

He snickered.

The Eppes continued through the store. On the last aisle was kitchen gadgets. On the bottom shelf was a bagel slicer.

"Hey look!" Jordan said, picking it up. "A bagel slicer."

Charlie was not amused. "Oh, very funny!"

"I'm not trying to be funny. We need this. I don't want you trying to sever another finger. Look," she said, holding it out for him to see. "You put the bagel in, and the knife comes down through the grooves. And you won't cut yourself."

"I didn't 'sever' it," he informed her.

"Well, darn near!"

Charlie gave her a sulky face, and started to shove his hands into his pockets. He stopped, sucking in his breath, and clutched his left hand in his right. "Dammit, that hurt."

Jordan frowned. "I know it did. You okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah. It still really hurts.

"I know. I'm sorry." She looked at him with concern. "See," she told him gently, "this just made my point." She put the bagel slicer into the buggy. "We need this."

Alan Eppes got his granddaughter to sleep, and came into the kitchen. He spotted the bagel slicer, and picked it up.

"What's this?" Alan grinned in amusement.

Charlie made a face. "A bagel slicer."

Alan took it out of the box and started looking at it. "Well, this is pretty neat."

"I have been slicing my own bagels my entire life. I do not need that."

Alan looked at his son. "I thought it was very thoughtful of her to buy it. We can all use this."

He handed the bagel slicer to Charlie, patted his shoulder, and walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

Don Eppes sat in his brother's den, watching the game. Charlie sat on the couch, half watching the game, as he whispered to Riley, who was laying on his chest. Jordan was curled up next to Charlie, sound asleep. Alan was meeting with his book club.

Don looked over at his sister-in-law. "You need to let her rest once in a while, Chuck."

"Why? You never let 'me' rest. And stop calling me Chuck."

Don grinned at his brother, then looked back at Jordan. "Well, for her sake, I hope Riley starts sleeping through the night soon."

Charlie nodded. "Agreed."

"Agreed." said Jordan.

Charlie looked down at her. "Did we wake you? I'm sorry if we did."

Jordan yawned. "No biggie." She patted his leg.

Don watched as Charlie sat up straighter, and eased the baby into his left arm. Charlie smiled down at his baby, and pressed his right index finger against her tiny fist. She grasped his finger, and stared at him with huge dark eyes. Don's eyes then fell on his brother's bandaged finger.

"How's the finger?"

"It's okay."

Don sipped his beer, and looked at Charlie with a little smile. "Hey, I'll bet you could get statistics on the number of people who get cut slicing bagels, and discuss it during one of your 'Math For Dummies' lectures."

Jordan started to giggle.

Charlie scowled. "Oh, very cute." He shook his head and grinned. "But, did you know that people who slice bagels are 4 times more likely to cut themselves, than people who slice carrots?"

Don burst into laughter. "Then you'd better stick to carrots."

Jordan was still giggling, but harder. "You guys are nuts." She curled up towards the back of the couch, hoping to tune the brothers out, and fall back asleep.

Charlie felt guilty waking her up. "Jordan, why don't you go to bed?"

"'Cause I'm comfy."

Charlie rolled his eyes, and grinned at Don. Suddenly he brightened. "Hey! I got it! I could change the name of the class to, 'Bagel Slicing: 101'."

With her back still turned, Jordan again started to giggle.

Charlie, grinning, continued. "And when we buy gifts this year, we could get everyone a bagel slicer!"

Don choked on his beer and started laughing.

Jordan rolled onto her back, hands on her belly, laughing hard. She sat up, trying to catch her breath, and wiped her eyes.

"Oh Charlie! I swear. Sometimes... you just ain't right!"

Don recovered from choking, set his beer down, and stood. Grinning, he walked over to the couch and reached for his tiny niece.

Charlie grinned at Don, and passed Riley to him. "Go see Uncle Donnie," he told the baby.

Don scooped her into his arms, and cuddled her. He kissed the top of her dark curly head.

Jordan cuddled against Charlie.

Charlie put his arm around her. "Let me guess. You're cold, right?"

"Well, you're always warm." She grinned at him, hugging him tightly. Charlie kissed her.

Don sat down, and shifted the baby into the crook of his left arm. He looked down into her huge brown eyes. "Hi, Riley," he said softly.

Don looked up at his brother. "You know Chuck, aside from her nose, she 'looks' just like you."

Charlie grinned proudly.

Don continued, trying to keep his face straight. "I just hope she takes after Jordan, and not you."

Charlie looked at him, startled.

Don looked up innocently. "Do you think being a klutz is hereditary? I mean, I really hope she can manage to slice her own bagel when she's an adult!" Don grinned wickedly.

Charlie scowled at his brother, as Jordan fell back against the couch laughing.

_**The End. **_


End file.
